Tx_grass_dancer

I havent danced in 2 years, I started college and then my grandfather died last summer, i just wasnt at a point where I could make it to any powwows. My life is finaly straightened out for the most part and Im gonna head out this summer. I have been dating this great girl for about a year and want her to go with me.

She is a nonnative and pretty shy. She is very reluctant to go and only wants to go to be with me but I more then likely wont get to see her that much while there. She feels dancing at all even during intertribals or cake walk just wont be "her thing".

I know there are some of you out there who are spouses of dancers, so how did you feel BEFORE you went to your first powwow. Were you scared or worried? Just wondering thanks.

Singing Eagle

Tx GD - I am going to delete the second thread as it is nearly identical to this one. Just a reminder that posts in this forum must be moderated before they go public.

Tx_grass_dancer

Ya I didnt read that the first time and read it on the second one I figured a mod would have deleted one. SO thank you

Eagle Plumes

It can be ruff when theres a non dancer in the relationship. But let her go and watch ,see what she likes. PLease keep her in the loop about whats going on , talking of things and being around them are different. There's things I diddnt even think to explain to my then boyfriend "now husband" Poor thing looked like a deer in the headlites lol. BUt he liked it and still does and we go every chance we get. He dances gourd, and helps get our young sons dress'd.

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Got Bead's?

nativedancer5

My husband is a non dancer and when we went to our first powwow I tried to answer his questions. He enjoys going as much as me and loves the traders and the food. He also will take pictures of intertribals.

Becca

hobbs49

I'd kind of worried about your statement that you won't likely get to see her that much while there. That, IMHO, is a big mistake. If you want her to come to her second powwow, I'd suggest that you not even consider dancing, singing, or whatever it is that you do that would make it where you wouldn't even see her that much.

I would suggest that you take the time to introduce her to your friends and their ladies and do your best to make her feel very much at home. I would sit with her and try to answer her questions. Powwows can seem like a lonely place when it seems that everyone else knows each other and are having a good time and you're by yourself, knowing nobody, and have no idea what is even going on.

If it's a two day dance, maybe you can leave her on her own more on the second day. But that first day, you should plan to be close by!

Good Luck!

Meow

I agree with what Hobbs said. If she is shy enough just in her everyday life around what she is familiar with, imagine how she will feel in a cross-cultural setting where she is technically an "outsider". I know that for me, I am normally pretty outgoing in my normal surroundings but whenever I am in a cross-cultural setting (like a few years ago I visited a Fijian village) and I was a lot more shy simply because I was unfamiliar with my surroundings and didn't want to say or do anything that would come across as offensive or disrespectful.

But if you stay with her, show her what is going on, and take the time to introduce her to people and make her feel welcome, I guarantee it that she will feel a lot more comfortable. Also, I think she will feel pretty special too because she'll like she has been more included and like more of an insider than some of the other non-natives there. I know that for me, if I had a native friend there showing me the ropes of everything (even though I would just be spectating) as opposed to me just showing up myself and not knowing anyone, I would feel pretty special to have the opportunity to be introduced to people that I otherwise may not have the opportunity to meet.

Tx_grass_dancer

Thanks guys I guess I was just really excited and was getting ahead of my self and almost forgetting about her. There will always be other powwows I can wait longer for her. Thanks for putting my head on staight guys. I knew if I posted on here someone would help me out.