what are the rules for ladies choice dances

jayBvelumptuous · 10-09-2003, 09:17 PM

I have always been tempted to ask the guy out of my leage and see if I can at least get a dance. Now what would I do if he turns me down, or he chooses to dance with the other girl racing up to dance with him? How can I get to choose that guy and make him dance with me do we switch or just ask his cousin, exactly how do the steps go, cause I've seen a few different techniques.

powwowbum49 · 10-10-2003, 03:57 AM

Ladies choice means just what is says and it is impolite and inappropriate for a fella to decline. Keep in mind though that some folks are off limits or may have to say no. Examples would be singers, the AD, The MC and other members of the head staff. If the fella you ask tells you no thanks ... then he wasn't all you thought he was and you are better off that he did say no.

**Kakeeya** · 10-10-2003, 01:34 PM

In our teachings, it is inappropriate for a man to turn down a female when asked to dance. Consequences for turning down a woman could be monetary and or public ridicule. I've seen women go to the MC and let them know that a man turned them down and the MC teased the heck out of that man, also made him pay the lady $5.00. Another time, the MC had the woman and man dance an Owl Dance by themself. :)

Gold_toothed_dancer · 10-10-2003, 02:10 PM

only until i started going ot pow wows did the woman get to ask the fellas. In cali teachings the woman are seen very spiritual and cherished. The mixing of man and woman was reserved for non ceremony time and dances. The woman never have mixed with the fellas and would be frowned on even asking a fella to dance it just doesn't happen. This is because the love cycle is not for public display and doesn't innerfere with the ceremony whatever ceremony it is. I triped out the first time I saw the women ask and bring the fella at UCLA pow wow. Now it's nothing because I've seen it but it just goes to show like what you said about 'humiliating the fella who says no.

cetanwea · 10-10-2003, 02:36 PM

Here are the "rules" that I was taught by my elders and try to go by:

Never ask a married man to dance ladies choice (unless you know his family well and have permission from his wife!)

If you can't tell for sure if the guy is married LOOK AROUND...if he sits with a lot of women one of them may be his wife or girlfriend (it is ok for you to ask these women politely in advance what his status is if you want him that bad!) or if he is a dancer and there is a chair next to him that a woman sits in or has a shawl draped over it, chances are he's married

Of course, you don't want to deliberately embarrass a guy that turns you down if he's got a good reason (like he's married...or he has to watch his kids etc), but if he shames you by refusing to dance then he DOES owe you something in return and this should be offered by him immediately! IF he does not, then it is okay to bring it to the attention of the MC to take care of

And last but not least...the SNAG is left for the 49 and is NOT appropriate for ladies choice (although of course can lead to it later by way of introductions!)

My "advice" to your question would be when you know there is a special guy you want to ask (and you have already followed the above "rules"), just try to be as close to him as possible before ladies choice is called!!!! First to ask is the first to get him! And you certainly won't be considered "lady like" if you are RUNNING at him full speed or yanking on some other "lady's" braids to keep her off him til you get there! LOL

**Kakeeya** · 10-10-2003, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gold_toothed_dancer
only until i started going ot pow wows did the woman get to ask the fellas. In cali teachings the woman are seen very spiritual and cherished. The mixing of man and woman was reserved for non ceremony time and dances. The woman never have mixed with the fellas and would be frowned on even asking a fella to dance it just doesn't happen. This is because the love cycle is not for public display and doesn't innerfere with the ceremony whatever ceremony it is. I triped out the first time I saw the women ask and bring the fella at UCLA pow wow. Now it's nothing because I've seen it but it just goes to show like what you said about 'humiliating the fella who says no.

That's the difference between tribes that have had powwows in their culture for a long time and those that don't. The Owl dance is a social dance and is just for fun. We also have specific courtship dances as well as a variety of social dances. However, the dances that we do in our traditional ceremonies is very different and is not shared with everyone. Powwow's are for social enjoyment and have their own set of teachings. :)

jayBvelumptuous · 10-10-2003, 04:33 PM

Now me myself never really understood the rules of the ladies choice dances, so I never asked anyone. I have also seen a couple side step, and another with their hands behind them. which is more used for this type of dance. I also wanted to say, this is very helpful for me to ask a guy at the next pow-wow. I didn't know we couldn't ask singers or drumers. I be just wanting to get out and dance. I don't pow-wow that often, but when I do I would like to dance with a guy.:p

Gold_toothed_dancer · 10-15-2003, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Kakeeya
That's the difference between tribes that have had powwows in their culture for a long time and those that don't. The Owl dance is a social dance and is just for fun. We also have specific courtship dances as well as a variety of social dances. However, the dances that we do in our traditional ceremonies is very different and is not shared with everyone. Powwow's are for social enjoyment and have their own set of teachings. :)

i know that i was just sharing some of the cali way with you all. thanks for sharing to i hope you don't think i was dissin on the pow wow way cause I don't want to diss on any one. I like the courtin dances at the pow wows specialy when I get asked.

**Emmy** · 10-15-2003, 01:37 PM

well i have no problem asking the mc, ad, or a singer if i know them... havent been turned down by them yet

Gold_toothed_dancer · 10-15-2003, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Emmy
well i have no problem asking the mc, ad, or a singer if i know them... havent been turned down by them yet

i would never turn down a offer;)i'd be honored.

jayBvelumptuous · 10-15-2003, 08:03 PM

Most of the time I don't ask for fear of rejection but now it isn't so bad, I will either get paid or the guy will have to humiliate himself. I can say I would enjoy the pow-wow more.

How come there aren't any mens choice dances?

Never seen any before,

1dancing white wolf · 10-15-2003, 08:25 PM

This thread made me remember something-when my younger son was about 14 or 15 he was real prize among the girls his age on the pow wow trail and was always being asked to 2 step. Problem was , he wasn't really very good at it, so I had to spend the winter making little gifts for him to give these young ladies when he would turn them down. Once the girls saw what he was giving away, they would ask him just to get a piece of beadwork or a hair barrette or a bracelet. Got to be expensive after a while!

jayBvelumptuous · 10-15-2003, 08:47 PM

Well I like that idea. You are a very clever person, I say it is thoughtful and inspiring I would like to ask your son to dance one white wolf. That is cool you must have a very handsome son, he must have a wonderful mother, and father to have made gifts.

NAPEW · 10-29-2003, 03:32 PM

My rules-make sure the chick is pretty has no zits and no missing teeth.

MarthaFlysWithEagles · 10-29-2003, 03:52 PM

NAPEW--

Your silly

NAPEW · 10-29-2003, 04:01 PM

I'm j/k you know so ladies don't take it serious just feeling down so trying to add humor to my day.

10-09-2003, 09:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
jayBvelumptuous Belly Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: wayyyyyyyy west coast NeahBay WA Posts: 298	what are the rules for ladies choice dances I have always been tempted to ask the guy out of my leage and see if I can at least get a dance. Now what would I do if he turns me down, or he chooses to dance with the other girl racing up to dance with him? How can I get to choose that guy and make him dance with me do we switch or just ask his cousin, exactly how do the steps go, cause I've seen a few different techniques.

10-10-2003, 03:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
powwowbum49 Arena Director Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: midwest, USA Posts: 812	Ladies choice means just what is says and it is impolite and inappropriate for a fella to decline. Keep in mind though that some folks are off limits or may have to say no. Examples would be singers, the AD, The MC and other members of the head staff. If the fella you ask tells you no thanks ... then he wasn't all you thought he was and you are better off that he did say no. __________________ PB49 "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." Pablo Picasso My comments are based on what I have been taught and my experiences over the years I have been around the circle. They should in no way be taken as gospel truths and are merely my opinions or attempts at passing on what I have learned while still learning more.

10-10-2003, 02:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Gold_toothed_dancer Junior Dancer Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Fresno, California in the house! Posts: 188	only until i started going ot pow wows did the woman get to ask the fellas. In cali teachings the woman are seen very spiritual and cherished. The mixing of man and woman was reserved for non ceremony time and dances. The woman never have mixed with the fellas and would be frowned on even asking a fella to dance it just doesn't happen. This is because the love cycle is not for public display and doesn't innerfere with the ceremony whatever ceremony it is. I triped out the first time I saw the women ask and bring the fella at UCLA pow wow. Now it's nothing because I've seen it but it just goes to show like what you said about 'humiliating the fella who says no. __________________ So broke I'm thinking of pawning my gold toof!

10-10-2003, 04:33 PM	#7 (permalink)
jayBvelumptuous Belly Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: wayyyyyyyy west coast NeahBay WA Posts: 298	Ladies Choice Now me myself never really understood the rules of the ladies choice dances, so I never asked anyone. I have also seen a couple side step, and another with their hands behind them. which is more used for this type of dance. I also wanted to say, this is very helpful for me to ask a guy at the next pow-wow. I didn't know we couldn't ask singers or drumers. I be just wanting to get out and dance. I don't pow-wow that often, but when I do I would like to dance with a guy.:p

10-15-2003, 01:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
Emmy Flat E! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Silver Spring Posts: 3,360	well i have no problem asking the mc, ad, or a singer if i know them... havent been turned down by them yet __________________ Oh yeah, I used to know Quentin...He's a real...He's a real Jerky ~Flat Beat~

10-10-2003, 01:34 PM	#3 (permalink)
Kakeeya PowWows.com Addicts Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: By a mountain on the Rez Posts: 2,560	In our teachings, it is inappropriate for a man to turn down a female when asked to dance. Consequences for turning down a woman could be monetary and or public ridicule. I've seen women go to the MC and let them know that a man turned them down and the MC teased the heck out of that man, also made him pay the lady $5.00. Another time, the MC had the woman and man dance an Owl Dance by themself. :)

10-10-2003, 02:36 PM	#5 (permalink)
cetanwea Tiny Tot Dancer Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 34	Here are the "rules" that I was taught by my elders and try to go by: Never ask a married man to dance ladies choice (unless you know his family well and have permission from his wife!) If you can't tell for sure if the guy is married LOOK AROUND...if he sits with a lot of women one of them may be his wife or girlfriend (it is ok for you to ask these women politely in advance what his status is if you want him that bad!) or if he is a dancer and there is a chair next to him that a woman sits in or has a shawl draped over it, chances are he's married Of course, you don't want to deliberately embarrass a guy that turns you down if he's got a good reason (like he's married...or he has to watch his kids etc), but if he shames you by refusing to dance then he DOES owe you something in return and this should be offered by him immediately! IF he does not, then it is okay to bring it to the attention of the MC to take care of And last but not least...the SNAG is left for the 49 and is NOT appropriate for ladies choice (although of course can lead to it later by way of introductions!) My "advice" to your question would be when you know there is a special guy you want to ask (and you have already followed the above "rules"), just try to be as close to him as possible before ladies choice is called!!!! First to ask is the first to get him! And you certainly won't be considered "lady like" if you are RUNNING at him full speed or yanking on some other "lady's" braids to keep her off him til you get there! LOL

10-15-2003, 08:03 PM	#11 (permalink)
jayBvelumptuous Belly Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: wayyyyyyyy west coast NeahBay WA Posts: 298	ladies choice Most of the time I don't ask for fear of rejection but now it isn't so bad, I will either get paid or the guy will have to humiliate himself. I can say I would enjoy the pow-wow more. How come there aren't any mens choice dances? Never seen any before,

10-15-2003, 08:25 PM	#12 (permalink)
1dancing white wolf Junior Dancer Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Highland Springs, Va, USA Posts: 131	This thread made me remember something-when my younger son was about 14 or 15 he was real prize among the girls his age on the pow wow trail and was always being asked to 2 step. Problem was , he wasn't really very good at it, so I had to spend the winter making little gifts for him to give these young ladies when he would turn them down. Once the girls saw what he was giving away, they would ask him just to get a piece of beadwork or a hair barrette or a bracelet. Got to be expensive after a while! __________________ Rie

10-15-2003, 08:47 PM	#13 (permalink)
jayBvelumptuous Belly Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: wayyyyyyyy west coast NeahBay WA Posts: 298	ladies choice Well I like that idea. You are a very clever person, I say it is thoughtful and inspiring I would like to ask your son to dance one white wolf. That is cool you must have a very handsome son, he must have a wonderful mother, and father to have made gifts.

10-29-2003, 03:32 PM	#14 (permalink)
NAPEW Its qooo man! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: lap of luxury - jibby's lap Posts: 205	My rules-make sure the chick is pretty has no zits and no missing teeth.

10-29-2003, 03:52 PM	#15 (permalink)
MarthaFlysWithEagles Teen Dancer Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Virginia-I think Posts: 396	NAPEW-- Your silly __________________ "A single tear found it's way down her face. She swallowed in an effort to choke back the flood that threatened to follow. She lifted her chin. She was an Apache. Her captors would NOT see her cry...." --Walks Alone, Brian Burks "My hair is long, my skin is tan, my eyes brown, and my heart strong. I am an Apache woman. I will not be broken."

10-29-2003, 04:01 PM	#16 (permalink)
NAPEW Its qooo man! Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: lap of luxury - jibby's lap Posts: 205	I'm j/k you know so ladies don't take it serious just feeling down so trying to add humor to my day.

10-29-2003, 04:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
MarthaFlysWithEagles Teen Dancer