Paul G

Posted by lostwolfcrockett

Seeking The Lost Ones Powwow

Today I am going to the powwow. I wonder if he will
return, wasn't his name Kenny?

Last year, at this powwow, I remember the prayers at
the beginning, something about "calling the lost
ones." Who are the lost ones? Ancestors who have gone
before us to the Spirit world? The grandparents who
were taken from their cultural traditions & even
seperated from family? The lost ones could be people
living today who have lost their ways?
My mind wandered to my Grandmother. When I was in High
school, a girl told me my grandmother was half Indian.
I asked about it later, and Grammy started to say
something, but Grampa stopped her & she went to the
other room crying while he preached at me about "...
you inherited sin nature and it takes seven
generations to get rid of it...." I didn't realise
what he was saying at the time.
After Grampa went to Heaven and Grammy was in a
nursing home, she told me about her lost son. They
said her baby died, but he didn't, he was taken away.
She said she had a son, born with dark skin and it was
assumed she'd cheated on Grampa, but it wasn't true.
"I was always loyal to my husband. The baby was dark
because of me. My father was Penobscott. I have been
grieving all these years. I miss that baby and my
relatives I never saw after I got married. I wish I
could find that son and explain that I would have
loved him as much as any child, he was taken away
against my choice, pulled out of my arms." And I think
she told me he goes by the name Kenny, because I
remember saying, I can remember that because it is
like my Uncle Kent.
A lot of people at the powwows have similar family
stories they are here to honor. To remember the lost
ones, who lost their connections. Many here in Maine
Powwows are "pale-skins" or blue eyes, metis, in the
west someone might say "wasichu" or "wannabe" -because
we don't use BIA cards to prove our "pedigree" ( I
actually heard someone say that once) but we know why
we are here. To reconnect with lost ones.

I was worried about not breaking rules. At one powwow,
a white lady had criticised me. I wondered why listen
to white ladies who read books and come to powwows to
make sure we do things right. Anyway, I wanted to be a
positive part of the powwow and not bring negative
comments from visitors.

I saw Kenny arrive with his friend on Sunday
afternoon, long after Grand Entry. I greeted him and
said that I wanted to get a picture of us together
with the last picture on my camera, and get his
address. I didn't know how to tell him, he looked
familiar, like family, and I wondered if he was
related, even my lost uncle, that Grammy told me
about? So if I got a picture and his address, maybe I
could find out something later and talk to him again.
I was glad he didn't smell like alcohol. The first
time I saw him, he came to a powwow reeking of alcohol
so I explained that to him. He didn't know anything
about powwows, but he was obviously an Indian
descendant, practically the only brown-skin here! He
asked me to dance with him but I didn't want him to
think I was interested in being a girlfriend, just a
friend. But I didn't say it. Then he said, "well, I am
going to dance." And he went right in the arena with
his cigarrette in one hand and pepsi in the other. I
thought of running after him and grabbing his arm and
explaining it, but I stood there motionless, watching.
It's okay, he's innocent, I thought as I watched hm,
he is the lost one we prayed for, he is the one this
powwow is for, nothing he does is going to be "wrong."

At the Grand Exit, he danced at the end of the Honor
Procession, behind the golden agers, and I thought it
was right for him to be there. Any one who couldn't
see who we was, the answer to our prayers calling for
the lost ones, couldn't see what was real. But many
people do worry about following "rules" and at the
end, some refused to shake his hand, pushed him aside,
as if he were shunned.

My ride came too soon, and I had to leave without
exchanging addresses or taking the picture. I haven't
seen him in a year, and don't even know his last name.
I still have the same camera with one picture left. I
hope he is brave and comes back to the powwow. I'm
looking for this lost one, this weekend, praying for
another miracle. Because we go to powwows to
reconnect with lost ones. We are all related.
Nogomaq.

__________________
New to the site--Introduce Yourself Need Help--FAQ--Search
Feedback--Post your suggestions

MyTribalSpace.com | NativeGatherings.com | PowWows.com Podcast | Indigitunes.com
NativeSeek.com | Pow Wow TV | Pow Wow Radio | NativeMusicSource.com Radio | NDN411.com | eSnag Online Dating

Pow Wow TV - Find out how you could win a 42" Plasma TV!