DatLumbeeTurtle

badmaninc

I thought it was okay but my wife wasn't all that understanding about it.

chazziff

rotfl!! dats funny!!

i feel as long as they (girlfriends/wives) are respectful to the drum/drummers - go for it.

i myself don't hang around there too much - i sit as far away as possible. just go over talk, drop off food/drinks. its just not my cup of tea..watchin EVERY song, sitting right beside the drum (who wants to see the big bums that are at your eye level when they come watch the drum sing? or deal with the stampede of recorders?).

but if they are disrespectful (full on public displays of affection/inappropriate "touching" - who wants to watch THAT at a pow wow. fighting/arguing. dressed inappropriately - lookin like they are going clubbin' at the 1:00 grand entry) - no.

but i also feel it is up to the lead singer/drum keeper to say something to the singer/wife/girlfriend and i think that's where the trouble lays...

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southernx_hunnie08

well i used to sing on the same drum as my ex boyfriend and i sat behind them but their really wasn't that many problems that i knew of but who knows.......it also might just depend on if she is annoying.............

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DatLumbeeTurtle

ac_miss

Hmmmm.....I've thought about it only recently. It's kind of a touchy subject as well.

I've only been singing since I was in my early teens which was like over 10 years ago. I felt comfortable singing because I would sing behind my brothers. Had it been behind a boyfriend, I would've been out of element. I would have to get an okay approval from the lead singer as well as the lady singers behind the drum.

I do have mixed views when men bring their girlfriends around the drum. Had I been the girlfriend coming around the first time, I just don't think I'd sit there first and try to achieve some kind of rapport with the others. I'd first learn the songs first and then go from there, but people start out differently than others.

I've only come across one or two guys' girlfriends that bugged me. One was a non-native teeny bopper and another was a self proclaimed "adopted" member of a tribe (won't mention the tribe.....)". Their boyfriends brought them a chair and had them sit down beside the lady singers. I thought it was rude because their was no introduction or anything. That was me though...I try to be a stickler for ettiquette. *LOL*

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ndn_chick

just depends on the drum or lead singer....if they dont want your girlfriends around the drum....sucks to be them....or if your a back up singer...its a different story~!~

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Lesley Smoke

I think its fine if their women sit with them....especially when they are going to be backin them up

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*Tha One N' Only LeSLeY*

WhoMe

Lesley,


I agree. If a woman sits behind the drum, her purpose should be to sing.... not to watch the actions of her man.

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"Today, recognizing and respecting the origins of powwow aids in our Cultural Survival. If enough people break the rules because they are not satisfied...."We will have no culture."

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pinkflower

I don't think that a woman has to have a purpose to want to sit and be by her man at a pow wow. If he's a singer what's the big deal? It's not as if he's so untouchable and can't be bothered by his woman, she shouldn't have to feel that she needs to be a singer to be worthy to sit by her man. I don't care if people judge me if I sit by my man when he's at his drum. I'm the one who takes care of him and encourages him to attend powwows and braids his hair before we go and plus get our children ready to dance. I don't feel the need to provide justification to be able to sit by my man. If you are a family then you sit by each other as a family no matter what other people may think. I'll continue to sit by my singer and be proud that he wants me to.

DatLumbeeTurtle

...what do you guys think?

pinkflower

I don't need him to get a chair for me, I'm very capable of carrying and setting down my own chair. That would set Women's lib a few decades back and we can't have that can we? If other women aren't comfortable sitting by their man than I believe it's because they have a problem with what other's think of them. I personally don't care, I sit by my man because he's my man the other girlfriends from the drum group sit together and we keep each other company and watch each other's children and that way the children are by the dads, moms and can visit uncles and aunts all by sitting by the drum. When you have that kind of relationships it doesn't matter what other's think.

suthernwaterbird

well the way i always understood it is that if u have a man then stand behind him and sing, the only other reason to stand there is if ur learning how to sing. when u come to that drum u come to sing. sing for the people. if you want to support your man sit back behind the women singers. jus ma 25 cents

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ndn_chick

agree

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pinkflower

Here's my 50 cents my man's drum doesn't have women singers and even if they did wives have first choice with seating. The women come from where they are sitting to stand and sing when it's time to most drums don't sing all the time It's sounds to me that you may be romantisizing things a bit and I wonder if you really do attend many mainstream powwows. Or just the little ones where you're from. The ones I go to are big and we go every weekend and that's how it is up here. Girlfriends and wives sit by the drum and usually together. In our way family comes first and foremost the drum my husband is on takes care of the families and understands how important it is. That's all that important to me. The singers don't try to put themselves above anyone else and h