middle of the sky

The following are different answers given by school-age* children to the given questions:

* Why did God make mothers?
* 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
* 2. Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.
* 3. Mostly to clean the house.
* 4. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

* How did God make mothers?
* 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
* 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
* 3. He made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used* bigger
parts.

* Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
* 1. We're related.
* 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms*like me.

* What ingredients are mothers made of?
* 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and* everything nice in the world, and one dab of mean.
* 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they* mostly use string. I think.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
* 1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
* 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
* 3. They say she used to be nice.

* How did your Mom meet your dad?
* 1. Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

* What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
* 1. His last name.
* 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he* get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

* Why did your Mom marry your dad?
* 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
* 2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
* 3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

* What makes a real woman?
* 1. It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

* Who's the boss at your house?
* 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dads* such a goofball.
* 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff*under the bed.
* 3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do* than dad.

* What's the difference between moms and dads?
* 1. Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just got to work at work.
* 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
* 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real* power cause that's who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at*your friend's.

* What does your Mom do in her spare time?
* 1. Mothers don't do spare time.
* 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
*
What's the difference between moms and grandmas?
* 1. About 30 years.
* 2. You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes*moms don't even have bread on them!

* Describe the world's greatest Mom?
* 1. She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!
* 2. The greatest Mom in the world wouldn't make me kiss my fat aunts!
* 3. She'd always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

* Is anything about your Mom perfect?
* 1. Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.
* 2. Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.
* 3. Just her children

* What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
* 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some*kind of plastic surgery.
* 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd dye-it, maybe blue.

* If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
* 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
* 2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my*sister who did it and not me.

* THIS NEEDS TO BE SENT TO ALL MOMS WHO COULD USE A GOOD LAUGH

eap7

Hahaha I'm not a mom but that was good. I especially liked the "how did mom pick dad? He must have said no to drugs and yes to chores". That was hilarious!!