Ordering Navajo Tacos in 2020
Operator: Thank you for calling Fry Bread Hut. May I have
your Navajo
enrollment number and national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your CIB and NIDN numbers first, sir.
Customer: My CIB number, yeah, hold on....it's 3487 and my
National ID
Number, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you, Mr. Smith. I see you live at
Coppermine Road Drive,
with a home phone number of 494-2366 and a cell number of
266-2566.
Currently you are employed by Farmer's Insurance and can be
reached via
your work number at 745-2302. Your email address is
sheepherder@home.net
. Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this
information?
Operator: We're wired into the SSA, sir.
Customer: The SSA, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Social Security
Administration, sir. This
will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of
your All-Meat
Special Navajo Tacos.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records at IHS and commode
sensors indicate
that you've been diagnosed with high blood pressure and
extremely high
cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow
such an
unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Navajo Taco.
I'm sure you'll
like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like
that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes'
from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the
suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized
ones, then....
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
four kids.
Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Hang on, let me give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay
in cash. Your
credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before
your driver
gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking
account is
overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the Navajo Tacos. I'll have
the cash
ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be
about 45 minutes.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick them up while
you're out
getting the cash, but then again, carrying tacos on a
motorcycle can be
a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a motorcycle?
Operator: It says here you fell behind on your car
payments, so your car
was repossessed. But your Harley's paid for and you just
filled the tank
yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be #%#&$%!!!
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've
already been
issued a citation for cursing a Navajo PD officer. The
citation is dated
July 4, 2019. You were issued another citation for cursing
a tribal
judge during your hearing and subsequently sentenced. Your
records
indicate that you've just been released from a 90 day
sentence in the
State Correctional Facility. Is this your first Navajo taco
since your
return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but if you read the fine print,
you will find
that our company is prohibited from redeeming free soda
coupons for
borderline diabetics. Thank you for calling Fry Bread Hut