natureluvr

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is usually baked square, why is sandwich meat almost always
round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" ...... but it's only a
"penny
for your thoughts"?
Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried
in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did "cured ham" have before it was put up for sale to the
public?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a
good idea to put wheels onto luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
about every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is his case still called a
hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why is it that people pay to go up tall buildings and then they put
money
in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just 2 people for an American President but 50
for
Miss America?

Why do doctors always leave the room while you change? They're going to
see
you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he or she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Who watched a white thing come out a chickens rear and thought, "that
ought
to taste good"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell
you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are
you
going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane on a freeway?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut,
why can't he fix a simple hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all four legs?
They're
both dogs, aren't they?

What do you call a male ballerina?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap for his
various escapades against the Road Runner, why didn't he just buy
dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Are the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star both sung to the
same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he shows
annoyance,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?

__________________

~pathwalker~

I copied these and emailed them to some peeps. they were good!

__________________
90% Angel


10% Lil Devil

natureluvr

glad you liked 'em! I think the ones about "morality and morons", and pointing to one's crotch are my favs, although they are all pretty funny............

__________________

~pathwalker~

I like the ones about:
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
about every two hours? (because of my insomnia, peeps say well I sleep like a baby, cant wait to through this at them, lol.)

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
(I like this one because I hate milk, gonna use that one too, lol.)

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about
him? (because it reminds me of a Howie Mandel stand-up bit, lol.)

The disney one, the acme one, the song ones and of course:
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he shows
annoyance, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the
window?

______________________________________

__________________
90% Angel


10% Lil Devil