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Latest Headline Heroes


British police pull guns on time travelling robot advancing on British Parliament, Read About It

Cats running wild in Newark causing garden mayhem, Read About It

Stolen jar of coins weighing 60 lbs. is too heavy for burglar, Read About It



New book tells you how to tell if your next-door neighbor is a sociopath, Read About It

Woman talking on cell phone survives after SUV plunges into Oregon river, Read About It

Man arrested for drunk driving released from jail due to overcrowding, Read About It

IRS to consider eBay sales taxable income, Read About It

Milwaukee airport baggage handler locked in cargo hold and flown to Philadelphia, Read About It

Hong Kong man drops all his apartment items from window (AP), Read About It
Man sells device for TV that blocks Fox News (AP), Read About It

Bobo the chihuahua terrorizes mail men, stops mail delivery, Read About It

Former police chief accused of stealing, tries to eats evidence, Read About It

NYC recalls math guides full of math errors and spelling mistakes, Read About It

Prankster smuggles his own art into top US museums, Read About It

Woman charged and shackled for 24 year old violation of warrant, Read About It

Dog survives 3 weeks in desert, Read About It

Easter Bunny assaulted by 12 year old boy, Read About It

Trail of meat leads to robbery suspects, Read About It



Charred doll mistaken for space alien, Read About It


Nearly a quarter of western Germans and 12 percent of easterners want Berlin Wall back, Read About It

Russian scientists discover that being whipped cures depression, Read About It

Beverly Hillbillies TV show creator dies at 93, Read About It
Rapper 50 Cent disappointed no one has shot at his bulletproof cars, Read About It

David Cassidy plans to win the Kentucky Derby, Read About It

Britain's official poet writes an ode to Queen Camilla, Read About It

A diner at a Wendy's restaurant finds a finger in their bowl of chili, Read About It

Sumo world says no to Sumo Pants, Read About It

The incorrect display of phone numbers used by American Idol viewers to vote their favorite contestant forces Fox Network to discard the latest voting, Read About It

Fighting Swiss cows to face doping tests (AP), Read About It

John Edwards starts new part time job as head of UNC's law school, Read About It



Celine Dion complains about her audience members falling asleep at her concerts, Read About It

Lottery winner plans to build a paradise for pigeons, Read About It

Reduced-sugar versions of kids' cereals no healthier than originals, Read About It

Woman pays airfare for invisible mermaids to help recover her stolen car, Read About It

Man Arrested for Alleged Drunken Cycling (AP), Read About It

The Easter Bunny is Arrested for Harassment (AP), Read About It

Japanese boy commandeers Airport Bus to the.....Airport (Reuters), Read About It

Vermont Boy's Sneakers Named Smelliest in all of U.S.A. (AP), Read About It
RCMP plans to seize shopping carts from homeless, Read About It

Doctor's study finds martial arts helps control ADHD disorder, Read About It

Friends traveling cross-country have their U-HAUL and everything they own stolen, Read About It



Cows take pleasure in solving problems according to London academics, Read About It

After rejecting nine marriage proposals, 69 year old Malyasian woman weds, Read About It

London squatter turns down chance to become rich, Read About It

US cheerleaders facing "bump and grind" ban, Read About It

Zippy the Pit Bull escapes from Doggie Death Row, Read About It

Houston, "America's Fattest City", organizes bike ride with free beer, Read About It

Man calls car dealership to say that his son just shot him in the head, Read About It

Canadian accused of driving drunk blames liquor filled chocolates, Read About It

House decorated with flattened beer cans receives $125,000 art grant, Read About It

Golfer Fred Couples, uses the F word on live tv, Read About It

Scientists to make mouse with human brain cells, Read About It



Bobby Fischer will be granted Icelandic citizenship, Read About It

Thief gets caught stealing same stuff from same victims, Read About It

Malt liquor beer drinkers are more likely to be homeless, Read About It


Judge Denies Marriage License For First Cousins, Read About It

Burning Cow Dung Starts Big Fire in Colorado, Read About It

Maggots, the Newest Medical Cure, Read About It

5 Year Old Girl Arrested in Florida (AP), Read About It

Castro Insulted by Being on Forbe's World's Richest Person List (AP), Read About It

Woman finds freedom of information laws mean no man free, Read About It

Mom Uses eBay To Sell Monster Under Child's Bed, Read About It

Employees Bring Own Toilet Paper to Work (AP), Read About It


Man Steals $320 From Girl Scout Booth, Read About It

British group breaks world record for creating the 'largest toast mosaic', Read About It

Women paying more than men for services like hair cuts is a human rights violation, Read About It

Tractor trailer hauling load of Corona crashes and explodes, Read About It

Truck thieves drive by police station at same time truck owner reports it stolen to police, Read About It

Court orders 27 year old woman to stop gardening in her underwear, Read About It

Man told by doctors he was "dangerously obese" had 55-pound tumor in stomach, Read About It

Man With 'TIPSY' Plate Faces DUI Charges, Read About It

Singapore government sets up fat-measuring machines at gas stations, Read About It

Sex Doll Sparks Bomb Alert at Postoffice, Read About It


Parents of Truant Students Miss Meeting (AP), Read About It



Man Found Napping in Car With Holdup Note (AP), Read About It

Buyer Pays $195,000 for Bucket in Ireland (Reuters), Read About It

School Pays $10,000 for Boy's Haircut, Read About It



With just hours to go before he's released, man escapes from prison, Read About It

Breakfast fight leads to Bobby Fischer being placed in solitary confinement, Read About It

Man requests free pen but doesn't get it so he threatens to blow the store up, Read About It

Police tazer 80 year old man, Read About It

Man jailed for not paying his library dues, Read About It

Owning a dog is more expensive than owning a luxury car, Read About It

47 surfers set record riding the world's longest surfboard, Read About It



Scientist says his wife can live to 1,000 years old, Read About It

Two men will attempt to drive a rocket powered car faster than the speed of sound, Read About It

Farm animals are smarter than we think, Read About It

8 Year Old Arrested After Temper Tantrum, Read About It

Laziness Cures Brain Cells And Extends Life Span, Read About It

School Bus Driver Gets Lost - Asks kids for directions, Read About It


Former band member of 98 Degrees to run for mayor of Cincinnati, Read About It



Funny Political Quotes

"In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible, whatever that means", George W. Bush, on the time frame for fixing up Social Security, Washington D.C., March 16th, 2005
"President Clinton is recovering quite well. In fact, he just passed a stress test or, as he called it, a weekend with Hillary.", Jay Leno of The Tonite Show

"Some of the districts look literally drawn by a drunk with an etch-a-sketch", California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, on the state's gerrymandered legislative districts
"This situation in Ohio would give an aspirin a headache.'' Dan Rather election night 2004



Funny Sports Quotes

"People tell me I am crazy to be doing this, and I agree with them", Hans van Ee after completing the 4 day 75 mile Sahara Run in Tunisia.
"I still say the New York Rangers have not looked this good in the month of March since 1994", Mike Lupica of the New York Daily News.
"Jose is not the sharpest tool in the shed. When asked if he was worried about incriminating himself, Caseco said, 'No I went to the bathroom beforehand", Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg on Jose Canseco testifying before US Congress.
"These guys know squat", Steve Rushin of Sports Illustrated on the three Molina brothers catching this year in MLB.
I think we'll be okay if we hold on tour Indianness!!

middle of the sky

were some of those real headlines? duh...