Corporate Lessons!

kitchemanitou · 02-10-2005, 09:21 PM

>Corporate Lesson #1
>A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
>shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
>towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
>the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you
>$800 to drop that towel."
>After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
>in front of Bob.
>After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
>The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
>gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes
>me?"
>
>Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
>credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position
>to prevent avoidable exposure.
>
>Corporate Lesson #2
>A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
>forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
>After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
>The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
>But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
>Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the
>church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
>It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>
>Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might
>miss a great opportunity.
>
>Corporate Lesson #3
> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
>lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes
>out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
>Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's
>gone.
>"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii,
>relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
>Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
>"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
>want those two back in the office after lunch."
>
>Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
>
>Corporate Lesson #4
> A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
>him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
>answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
>crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>
>Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
>very high up.
>
>Corporate Lesson #5
>A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
>the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
>"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're
>packed with nutrients."
>The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough
>strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
>The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
>
>Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of
>the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
>the tree.
>
>Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep
>you there.

Little Sister8 · 02-11-2005, 05:08 AM

I like all of those. They are funny and have a point too!

02-10-2005, 09:21 PM	#1 (permalink)
kitchemanitou Senior Dancer Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Saskatchewan{swift flowing} Posts: 987	Corporate Lessons! >Corporate Lesson #1 >A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her >shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a >towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, >the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I'll give you >$800 to drop that towel." >After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked >in front of Bob. >After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. >The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she >gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" >"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. >"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes >me?" > >Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to >credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position >to prevent avoidable exposure. > >Corporate Lesson #2 >A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, >forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. >After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. >The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. >But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. >The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" >The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." >Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the >church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. >It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." > >Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might >miss a great opportunity. > >Corporate Lesson #3 > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to >lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes >out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." >"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the >Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's >gone. >"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, >relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of >Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. >"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I >want those two back in the office after lunch." > >Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. > >Corporate Lesson #4 > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked >him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow >answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the >crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > >Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting >very high up. > >Corporate Lesson #5 >A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to >the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." >"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're >packed with nutrients." >The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough >strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. >The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. > >Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of >the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of >the tree. > >Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep >you there.

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02-11-2005, 05:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
Little Sister8 Rockstar Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: California Posts: 68	I like all of those. They are funny and have a point too!

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