kitchemanitou

vGREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
> > 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
> > 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your
> >hair.
> > 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch
> >the second person.
> > 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
> > 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
> > 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
> > 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
> > 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
> > 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
> > 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
> >
> >
> >
> > GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
> > 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
> > 2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
> > 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
> > 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its
> >ground.
> > 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
> > 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not
> >the toy.
> >
> >
> > GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
> > 1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.
> > 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can
> >get.
> > 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while
> >you're down there.
> > 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
> >rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
> > 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody
> >bothers to ask you the questions.
> > 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
> > 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
> >
> >
> >
> > THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
> >
> > 1) You believe in Santa Claus.
> > 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
> > 3) You are Santa Claus.
> > 4) You look like Santa Claus.
> >
> >
> >
> > SUCCESS:
> >
> > At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
> > At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
> > At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> > At age 35 success is . . . having money.
> > At age 50 success is . . . having money.
> > At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
> > At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
> > At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants.
> >
> >
> > Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
> >
> > Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT
> >NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.
> >
> >
> > Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*
> >
> >
> >
> > Take the time to live!!!
> >
> > Life is too short

~Journey~

Funny! True!

wyo_rose

Good ones!

AngelFeather

HAHHA those were great!!

thx fer the goot laff

Little Sister8

Those are all very true.

little wolf

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