12-19-2004, 05:06 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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M...O...T...to the S!
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SNL Dysfuntional Family Christmas
Announcer: It's that time of year, when families get together to reopen old feelings. And Silver Bell Records is proud to present a Dysfunctional Family Christmas. This is the album your family is sure to cherish for Christmases to come.
[ SUPER: "Let's Pretend We Like Each Other (This Christmas)" ] Dad: [ singing ] "Christmastime, you force a smile Everyone is joining in the group denial Folks behaving infantile Family Christmastime." Announcer: Hit after dysfunctional hit. Songs like "The Almost Perfect Christmas": Female Chorus: "Dinner is perfect, the presents are perfect The tree and the parlors are perfect fun." Male Chorus: "Then your brother, yells at your mother." Altogether: "Christmas is ruined for everyone." Announcer: Get timeless hits like "Someday I'll Get Christmas Right", "I've Got My Drinking Under Control For The Holidays", "Peace On Earth? Where?", and "The Daughter Song": Female Chorus: "Presents and wrapping paper Ribbons and bows and all that stuff. Why do we even bother? Nothing we get you is good enough!" Announcer: And this country Christmas classic: [ SUPER: "Ballad of the Co-Dependent" ] Dad: "Every Christmas when you got drunk I told the children you were not drunk. And I said, "Tommy, you're not being bad, It's just Christmas makes your Mommy mad." Announcer: You'll get "Cant' You Let It Drop, It's Christmas", "What I Want You Can't Buy Me", "Fruitcake And Shame", and "Why Am I The Only One Who Knows What Christmas Really Means?" And many more. [ SUPER: "Why Am I Here? (The 'Pretty' Song)" ] Mom: "Underneath the mistletoe Is a 2x2 jingle bell world. And underneath all those extra pounds is a very pretty girl." [ SUPER: "Runny Funny Daddy" ] Kids: "Daddy's nose is red and runny Daddy's voice is rough and funny. Anmd the only words I can understand are 'God' and 'Damn' and 'Christmas'". Announcer: Just imagine - 24 timeless standards, including the classic "Carol Of Intimacy": Son: "Leave me alone! Please go away! I'm doing fine! Just get away! "Leave me alone! Please go away! I'm doing fine! Just get away! "Leave me alone! Please go away! I'm doing fine! Just get away!" [ SUPER: "DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY CHRISTMAS - $19.95 - 1-800-GET-HELP" ] Announcer: To order, call 1-800-GET-HELP tpday. Operators are standing by. 
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(j/k) (In a truly dysfunctional family nobody spends their own $$$)
i burst a gut (more that one) laughing when i saw dan carvy singing that last one... and "i got my drinking under control for the holidays"... 
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