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midnightwater

:hey!: plz. share your most humorous native joke you heard...

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be glad of life... because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look at the stars...life is not having and getting, but a being and a becoming..

eucheefolife

a ndn is sitting in a bus stop with two old white men the first white guy says hey herb where u going for vacation this year ? herb tells him im going to montana to fish this year the first guy looks at him and exclaims y do u want to go there for there aint nothing but a bunch of damned ndns there herb then asks where u going the guy says im going to arizona and soak up some sun herb looks @him and yells u moron there nothing but a bunch of damned ndns there then the ndn guy speaks up and comments y dont u both just go to hell there aint any ndns there lol its not the funniest ive herd but its funny


peace love and frybread grease

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You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?


****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****

melissa_blackbull

lol thats funny :D ;)

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"I AM BUT A MIST OF WATER IN A RAIN STORM""FOR I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN."

PyawasitBabyGurl

one of the funniest ones i've heard is this one:

there was a casino bus full of 20 ugly indians. the bus crashes with a truck, it was a head on collision eh, so everyone of them people on that truck died. so they all go to their spirit world and they get to see the creator. since the creator felt bad about their "problem" and the way they had died, he decided to grant them one wish. so he says to the 1st indian "what do you wish?" the first indian says "i wanna be handsome." and POOF he was handsome. he goes to the 2nd indian and asks him what his wish is. it was the same as the first and POOF! he was handsome. it continued on like that for awhile. and by the time the creator got to the tenth indian, the last indian was laughing, like he was laughin real hard eh. anyways, the creator is askin all these indians what he wishes, and that last indian over there is laughing hysterically by the time it's his turn. The creator asks "and what is your wish?" the indian just laughs even harder. after a few minutes he calmed down and says "Make em all ugly again!"


:Chatter haha.. that made me laugh.

melissa_blackbull

A Kiowa man has six beautiful children, and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home my little mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts back, "Anytime you're ready, father of four!"


:Chatter :p :Chatter

__________________
"I AM BUT A MIST OF WATER IN A RAIN STORM""FOR I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN."

storm

Old man is sitting on his front porch without his leggings on. His nephew walks by and says "Uncle, what are you doing sitting out here without your pants on?" old man says.."Last week I sat out here without no shirt, gotta stiff neck"......."ayyy

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My bark is worse than my bite

melissa_blackbull

A Cree man and a Ojibway woman who have never met before find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. After the initial embarrassment and uneasiness, they both go to sleep. The Cree man in the upper berth, and the Ojibway woman in the lower berth.

In the middle of the night the Cree man leans over, wakes the Ojibway woman and says,"I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly reach over and get me another blanket." The Ojibway woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye says, "I have better idea. Just for tonight let's pretend that we are married." The Cree man happily says, "OK! AWESOME!" Then the Ojibway woman says "GOOD..... Get your own blanket."

:Chatter :p :Chatter :agree?:

__________________
"I AM BUT A MIST OF WATER IN A RAIN STORM""FOR I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN."

melissa_blackbull

JUST FOR KICKS..

10. How much white are you?

9. I'm part white myself, you know.

8. I learned all your people's ways in the Boy Scouts (Order of the Bullet).
:Chatter

7. My great-great-grandmother was a full-blooded European princess.

6. Funny, you don't look white.


5. Where's your powdered wig and knickers?

4. Do you live in a covered wagon?

3. What's the meaning behind the square dance?:sw200:

2. Oh wow, I really love your hair! Can I touch it?

1. What's your feeling about river-boat casinos? Do they really help your people, or are they just a short-term fix?

__________________
"I AM BUT A MIST OF WATER IN A RAIN STORM""FOR I HAVE MUCH TO LEARN."

eucheefolife

:p :) :Chatter omg it took me awhile to get that i had to read it like 3 times haha

__________________

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted Sugar how you get so fly?¿?


****Mary had a little lamb but grandma butchered it****

T1hunder

A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in,
he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman he has ever seenboarding the plane.

He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A waveof nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes theseat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "So where are you flying to today?"

She turns and smiles, and says, "To the annual nymphomaniac Convention,in Chicago." He swallows hard, and is instantly CRAZED with excitement.Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him, and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "And what's your role at this
convention?"

She flips her hair back, turns to him, locks onto his eyes, and says, "Well, I try to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality. "Really" he says, swallowing hard. "And what myths are those?"

She explains: "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance
women best, on average."

"Very interesting," the man responds. Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I feel so awkward discussing this with you and I don't even know your name."

The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto. Tonto Goldberg!"

T1hunder

A man boards an airplane, and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees the most beautiful woman he has ever seenboarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes theseat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "So where are you flying to today?"

She turns and smiles, and says, "To the annual nymphomaniac Convention,in Chicago." He swallows hard, and is instantly CRAZED with excitement.Here's the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting RIGHT next to him, and she's going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, "And what's your role at this
convention?"

She flips her hair back, turns to him, locks onto his eyes, and says, "Well, I try to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality. "Really" he says, swallowing hard. "And what myths are those?"

She explains: "Well, one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess this trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who romance women best, on average."

"Very interesting," the man responds. Suddenly, the woman becomes very embarrassed and blushes. "I'm sorry," she says, "I feel so awkward discussing this with you and I don't even know your name."

The man extends his hand and replies, "Tonto. Tonto Goldberg!"

RainbowSpiriDancer

Laughter is good medicine and I've read the jokes in this forum and got a good But what's funny to me is how Indian people joke about meeting people that say, "My great grandmother was a Cherokee Indian princess!"

I live in Eastern, North Carolina and I'm a writer. I've written books regarding my North American Indian heritage and whenever I meet people on the street, the first thing they say to me is, "My great grandmother was full blood Cherokee!" It never fails. Honest! The person can be either black or white but that is always the first thing they say. Or they'll ask me, "What kind of Indian are you, Cherokee?" I know that there are lots of people with a Cherokee heritage but why is that the first thing they say? Even when I talk with people over the phone and we get on the Indian subject they'll say, "My great grandmother was full blood Cherokee!" Why?

T1hunder

Two Indian "SHORT" Joke about You Cherokee folks:
What is another name for Cherokee? generickee and another name? anglo!

T1hunder

Stupidly comes to mind actually. I am Apache/Cree and have often been asked "are you Cherokee". And they do in fact say the "My great (or grand) or Mother was full blooded Cherokee" It may actually have something to do with the song "Cherokee Nation" I was never asked that question before that song became popular.

RainbowSpiriDancer

The song could be it but when people say that to me, I say to myself, "Don't they know any other groups of First Nation People?" But I try and tell them in a nice way that there are many other groups of First Nation People living in Eastern, North Carolina too. And I name some of the groups that lived and still live along the Roanoke River. And don't forget the next remark they make, "My grandmother had long, straight, hair down to here!" It's like, if you don't have long, straight hair, you're not Indian. Well, I don't have long straight hair. I have soft, curly, wavey hair that grows long but I keep it cut short. However, it's cold in these woods, so I'm letting it grow back.

Gretchen

At a Pow Wow a couple weekends ago, I saw a bumper sticker for sale that said "I am half white but I can't prove it"

ameliad05

Ok i know this is more than one joke, but i just found a new joke site


Two Chippewas boarded a flight out of Denver. One sat in the window seat; and the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff a Lakota got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Chippewas. The Lakota kicked off his moccasins, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Chippewa in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a Coke." "No problem" said the Lakota, "I'm in the aisle seat, I'll get it for you!" While he was gone, one of the Chippewas picked up the Lakota's moccasin and spit in it. When he returned with the Coke, the other Chippewa said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Lakota said "Not a problem" and while he was gone the other Chippewa picked up the other moccasin and spit in it. The Lakota returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the flight. As the plane was landing, the Lakota slipped his feet into his moccasins and knew immediately what had happened. "My brothers, how long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our tribes? This Hatred? This animosity? This spitting in moccasins and peeing in Cokes?"

Bronze Rat

A Kiowa guy went to chinatown in San Francisco. While there he found a bronze rat in one of the shops. "How much do you want for the rat" he asked the shopkeeper "$3 for the rat and $1000 for the story that goes with it" said the shopkeeper. Just give me the rat" said the Kiowa and he then left the shop with his unusual find. As he walked down the street he noticed a couple of rats following him. Then as he walked further and further more and more rats started chasing him down the street. By the time he got to the bay, there were thousands of rats chasing him, so he climbed up a pole and threw the bronze rat into the water. To his amazement, all the rats jumped into the water. The Kiowa then returned to the shop. "Ahh" said the shopkeeper "Now you would like to hear the story?" "No, NO" said the Kiowa, "I just came back to see if you had any bronze white men!"

How can you tell the difference between a Non-native ghost and a Native ghost?
The Non-native ghost says "BOO"
The Native ghost says "BOO........Ayye!"

My Man

There was a Kiowa Man and a Apache Man both of them wanted this Sioux woman. So, the Sioux woman said who ever uses Liver and Cheese best in a sentence is who I will choose. The Kiowa man smiled and said if you choose me I will make you a liver and cheese sandwich you will never forget....The Apache man said "Liver alone Cheese mine!"

FOR THE PEOPLE.....

Four men gather on the top of a 30-story building, an East Indian, a Japanese, a Native American, and a White man.
The East Indian guy says, "this is for my people!" and he jumps off the building.
The Japanese says, "This too is for my people!" and jumps off.
The Native American proudly says, "This is for my people" and pushes the White Man off........

bruce60001

What is the diference between a native and a bench




a bench can support a family

legalstraight

OH NO....
I just, oh no.

chcavs

Why do seaguls have wings?
To beat the natives to the dump.
What is an empty beer can on the side of the road?
A native artifact