If dogs could write letters

teesabear_99 · 12-19-2003, 11:58 AM

If Dogs Could Write Letters To God:

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE is named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be that hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the '"Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest, and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Here is a list of a few of the things I must remember to be a good dog:

I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the smell.
The sofa is not a face towel.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my testicles back?

Sincerely,
Dog

WolfTears · 12-19-2003, 04:02 PM

If my dog could write a letter he would say .
Please return that large 54 orange thing they call a cat to the zoo. Make him stop using me as a rag doll. Make him understand I was here first an I am the king although I weigh 2 pounds I rule .
Make everyone understand when I bark at you that means leave I dont like you , an you are taking up my mom time.
Make the kids an grand kids understand , that this is my space an that little spot on the sofa is mine all mine deal with it
An make mom understand when she leaves me home alone yeahhhhhhh I am gonna hike on everything that is yours cuz you should take me with you EVERYWHERE cuz I am so cute.
AN mom could you buy a heavier blanket its winter now an just cuz you all snuggly an stuff isnt keeping my little ole boney legs warm when you are not sleeping .
AN most of all understand all food is mine all mine , I am trying to catch up with that dayum cat!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Dancin by the bay** · 12-22-2003, 01:39 PM

Doh! Glad I'm not a pooch.

MorninLite21 · 12-30-2003, 06:47 PM

If my dog had a list of things to do to be a good dog it would probably include no scratching in the middle of the night so that my tags jingle and wake up mom, the ferret is NOT a chew toy, barking at someone ten minutes after they get in the house because i just realized i din't know them is not acceptable, etc. :D

Stirbaby · 01-01-2004, 07:54 PM

GREAT STUFF

teesabear_99 · 01-10-2004, 02:23 AM

Hey, everybody! I'm glad you liked this. It was sent to me by a friend and my family LOVED it. That's why I decided to share it.

Wolftears, what does "54" mean in yours about the large cat?

- teesabear

12-19-2003, 11:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
teesabear_99 teesabear Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Owensboro, KY Posts: 17	If dogs could write letters If Dogs Could Write Letters To God: Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God, When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? Dear God, Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE is named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be that hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the '"Chrysler Beagle"? Dear God, If a dog barks his head off in the forest, and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God, We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? Dear God, When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? Dear God, Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God, Here is a list of a few of the things I must remember to be a good dog: I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the smell. The sofa is not a face towel. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. I will not throw up in the car. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And God, when I get to Heaven, can I have my testicles back? Sincerely, Dog __________________ May your way be blessed with life by the unifying force of the Great Holy Spirit. - Cherokee Prayer

12-19-2003, 04:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
WolfTears StrongWillowsSister Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Nashville Tenn Posts: 804	If my dog could write a letter he would say . Please return that large 54 orange thing they call a cat to the zoo. Make him stop using me as a rag doll. Make him understand I was here first an I am the king although I weigh 2 pounds I rule . Make everyone understand when I bark at you that means leave I dont like you , an you are taking up my mom time. Make the kids an grand kids understand , that this is my space an that little spot on the sofa is mine all mine deal with it An make mom understand when she leaves me home alone yeahhhhhhh I am gonna hike on everything that is yours cuz you should take me with you EVERYWHERE cuz I am so cute. AN mom could you buy a heavier blanket its winter now an just cuz you all snuggly an stuff isnt keeping my little ole boney legs warm when you are not sleeping . AN most of all understand all food is mine all mine , I am trying to catch up with that dayum cat!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ Better known an loved as Men~Nie Turtles ! Life is what you make it. Becareful what you give . You just might get it back!

12-30-2003, 06:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
MorninLite21 Tiny Tot Dancer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Tulsa, Oklahoma Posts: 36	If my dog had a list of things to do to be a good dog it would probably include no scratching in the middle of the night so that my tags jingle and wake up mom, the ferret is NOT a chew toy, barking at someone ten minutes after they get in the house because i just realized i din't know them is not acceptable, etc. :D __________________ Love is the ultimate magic, the ultimate spell, without reason, often making no sense.

01-01-2004, 07:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
Stirbaby Teen Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Ocali Posts: 252	GREAT STUFF __________________ ------------------ " We beseech and demand... that you accept the Church and the Superior Organization of the whole world and recognize the supreme Pontiff, called the Pope, and that in his name you acknowledge the King and Queen... his representatives, as the lords and superior authorities of these islands and main lands... If you do not do this, or resort maliciously to delay, we warn you that, with the aid of God, we will enter your land against you with force and will make war in every place and by every means we can and are able, and we will then subject you to the yoke and authority of the church and of their Highnesses. We will take you and your wives and children and make them slaves... And we will take your property and will do you all the harm and evil we can..." --The Requerimiento (read by Spanish Conquistadors to the people of the "New World" )

01-10-2004, 02:23 AM	#6 (permalink)
teesabear_99 teesabear Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Owensboro, KY Posts: 17	Glad you like it! Hey, everybody! I'm glad you liked this. It was sent to me by a friend and my family LOVED it. That's why I decided to share it. Wolftears, what does "54" mean in yours about the large cat? - teesabear __________________ May your way be blessed with life by the unifying force of the Great Holy Spirit. - Cherokee Prayer

12-22-2003, 01:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
Dancin by the bay Graceless Grass Dancer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: city by the bayCALI Posts: 1,108	Doh! Glad I'm not a pooch.

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