What would you do??????.

Twinkletoes · 03-11-2002, 08:36 PM

I was just looking for some advice on how to go about a certain situation. A couple of years ago I danced in a Fancy Shawl Special in Winnipeg, Manitoba. (i won't name any names) It was a winner take all special, in honour of a woman that passed away after a long struggle with cancer. Anyways, I did win the special and was awarded a trophy, starquilt, and bag, and was also promised a fully beaded outfit for the following summer. It has now been about 3yrs and I have not recieved the outfit that was promised. The woman that put up the special is a really well known fancy shawl dancer that is many of your favorites and used to be one of mine. Now I see this woman almost every summer, and the other women that helped with the special. But none of them have approached me to discuss what happened with the outfit.
I was very honoured when i won the special, but yet feel a bit ripped off. Lots of people have told me to bug them, about it, But i feel that wouldn't be appropriate. I guess there isn't really much i can do. But i feel that, that is very disrespectful to have a special in honour of someone, and not live up to what their word was.
So with that..I was just wondering what anyone else would do..if that happened to them...and what you think about this...just asking for some comments and opinions, and some advice...what ever you can offer...So thanks for reading...Later!!

saponi · 03-11-2002, 11:32 PM

I'm with you on this one...I'm not sure what I'd do..except pray hard:Angel2 .

Lapis Queen · 03-12-2002, 12:01 AM

I wouldn't bug them, but I feel as though you owe it to yourself to ask at least once. :( I don't feel as though it's disrespectful as long as you are polite.

Tooter · 03-12-2002, 08:56 AM

I agree with these ladies. You should ask. Then if you get nothing that is ok too. Let the Creator take care of it. I would think after the first time you ask them then you put the ball in their court. Either they own up to what they promised or they can live with the guilt and shame after you ask. I bet they think you forgot.

Smokin' Ace · 03-12-2002, 11:02 AM

Definitely ask! Ask in such a way, that you were so honored to be a part of this special, and that if you remember correctly, it was spoken of a beaded outfit for you the following summer - ask was this correct, because nothing else had been mentioned, and you wanted to be sure you heard correct, and let someone there know that you had not recieved any type of info at all since the special was done. Say, I apologize if it already done - and I thought maybe you lost my info - so I thought I'd call and let you know of the situation.

And then pray - as Tooter said - at least you can have the comfort of knowing that you let them know.

It might be a simple misunderstanding. You never know.

}!{ tinkerbell }!{ · 03-12-2002, 03:53 PM

After promising something like that and not going through with it, that would not be very good for them. You're not supposed to promise something like that and not go through with it.

jinglealltheway · 03-13-2002, 03:58 AM

yeah it happens
my sister won a shawl special and did not recieve what was to be given to her. they told her they were still working on it and will send it to her when it was done. well that was 10 yrs ago. she see them still but just smiles and talks to the family and just never brought it up.
but i agree to, you should at least ask once...who knows?

creejingledress · 03-16-2002, 08:45 PM

:( I remember that special....and i also remembered that it was announced that they would make you a beaded outfit. So it makes them look bad that they would hold a special in honour of someones's memory and not deliver. I think its kinda strange you haven't recieved anything since one of the ladies helping in the special is a well known beadworker and another one is a well known fancydancer. But to tell you the truth I'm not surprised. Because a friend of mine did a lot of work for the "well known"
fancy dancer and was not paid. Instead my friend was just told that she would get paid but had not received anything but the cold shoulder. After that I lost a lot of respect for this well known dancer. But I think it wouldn't hurt to ask. I mean they did say they would. They have to realize what was promised when they decided to hold that special.

luvstraightdancrs · 03-16-2002, 10:01 PM

I know how it feels to get stiffed. Made a couple of dresses for a family member couple of years ago. They have dresses but I never got paid. They were having a hard time, or I'll get it to you next week:( . Have learned the hard way - now it's half up front, rest at delivery family or not.

I have a hard time asking for my money and they are family. After three years I would say don't ask and cut your losses. Usually if something like this is going to be given, it's ready the day of the contest with only alterations to be made. That's what we do here and have done in the past when sponsoring a special contest.

I always remember what my father in law said, "Sometimes people can't remember their words well, it's because they had no intention of fulfilling their promise. Remember what goes around comes around."

Just some thoughts!!

FancyStar · 03-16-2002, 11:18 PM

I don't know if this will make you feel any better or not but it sounds like alot of people remember this special and know this family up there. These people are only hurting themselves and dishonoring the memory of their loved one by not fullfilling their obligations.

"The only thing longer than time is the memory of a betrayal."

Two-cents1 · 03-27-2002, 04:11 PM

I'm not surprised either, that you haven't received anything yet. I know the people involved with that special and the dancer you are talking about. I would say something to her about it, but just be ready for her behavior towards you after that.......she'll probably act funny towards you, but that shouldn't scare you off from saying something about it.......she's obligated to deliver what she said, and if she doesn't then it will come back on her in the future.....like another one said, the Creator will take care of it whether you get your outfit or not......sometimes people don't realize what hardships and bad luck they are creating for themselves when they don't follow through on their obligations.

Twinkletoes · 03-27-2002, 10:55 PM

Im very thankful for everyone's words. Im happy that people still remember this special. All replys are very helpful, I guess it's just getting the courage up to ask them about it. But once again...Thank you very much. And if i don't recieve anything, winning in honour of this person is satisfaction enough. I know I did my best, and I guess that's all that really counts. But I'll try to keep you guys up to date!!

Later!! :24:

sunburst24 · 04-01-2002, 07:42 PM

I think u should definatly ask about the beaded outfit, but be polite. Also If they were promiseing an outfit and didn't go through with it, its almost like there disrespecting whoever the special was in honor of....later

03-11-2002, 08:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Twinkletoes Pow Wow Visitor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 14	What would you do??????. I was just looking for some advice on how to go about a certain situation. A couple of years ago I danced in a Fancy Shawl Special in Winnipeg, Manitoba. (i won't name any names) It was a winner take all special, in honour of a woman that passed away after a long struggle with cancer. Anyways, I did win the special and was awarded a trophy, starquilt, and bag, and was also promised a fully beaded outfit for the following summer. It has now been about 3yrs and I have not recieved the outfit that was promised. The woman that put up the special is a really well known fancy shawl dancer that is many of your favorites and used to be one of mine. Now I see this woman almost every summer, and the other women that helped with the special. But none of them have approached me to discuss what happened with the outfit. I was very honoured when i won the special, but yet feel a bit ripped off. Lots of people have told me to bug them, about it, But i feel that wouldn't be appropriate. I guess there isn't really much i can do. But i feel that, that is very disrespectful to have a special in honour of someone, and not live up to what their word was. So with that..I was just wondering what anyone else would do..if that happened to them...and what you think about this...just asking for some comments and opinions, and some advice...what ever you can offer...So thanks for reading...Later!!

03-27-2002, 10:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
Twinkletoes Pow Wow Visitor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 14	Good Advice Im very thankful for everyone's words. Im happy that people still remember this special. All replys are very helpful, I guess it's just getting the courage up to ask them about it. But once again...Thank you very much. And if i don't recieve anything, winning in honour of this person is satisfaction enough. I know I did my best, and I guess that's all that really counts. But I'll try to keep you guys up to date!! Later!! :24:

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03-11-2002, 11:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
saponi Junior Dancer Join Date: Mar 2001 Posts: 192	I'm with you on this one...I'm not sure what I'd do..except pray hard:Angel2 .

03-12-2002, 12:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lapis Queen Junior Dancer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Raleigh Posts: 154	I wouldn't bug them, but I feel as though you owe it to yourself to ask at least once. :( I don't feel as though it's disrespectful as long as you are polite.

03-12-2002, 08:56 AM	#4 (permalink)
Tooter Tiny Tot Dancer Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Cherokee, NC Posts: 68	I agree with these ladies. You should ask. Then if you get nothing that is ok too. Let the Creator take care of it. I would think after the first time you ask them then you put the ball in their court. Either they own up to what they promised or they can live with the guilt and shame after you ask. I bet they think you forgot.

03-12-2002, 11:02 AM	#5 (permalink)
Smokin' Ace Arena Director Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: United States Posts: 4,110	Definitely ask! Ask in such a way, that you were so honored to be a part of this special, and that if you remember correctly, it was spoken of a beaded outfit for you the following summer - ask was this correct, because nothing else had been mentioned, and you wanted to be sure you heard correct, and let someone there know that you had not recieved any type of info at all since the special was done. Say, I apologize if it already done - and I thought maybe you lost my info - so I thought I'd call and let you know of the situation. And then pray - as Tooter said - at least you can have the comfort of knowing that you let them know. It might be a simple misunderstanding. You never know.

03-12-2002, 03:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
}!{ tinkerbell }!{ Tiny tot mommy! Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: I'm right here! Posts: 136	After promising something like that and not going through with it, that would not be very good for them. You're not supposed to promise something like that and not go through with it.

03-13-2002, 03:58 AM	#7 (permalink)
jinglealltheway Tiny Tot Dancer Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 42	yeah it happens my sister won a shawl special and did not recieve what was to be given to her. they told her they were still working on it and will send it to her when it was done. well that was 10 yrs ago. she see them still but just smiles and talks to the family and just never brought it up. but i agree to, you should at least ask once...who knows?

03-16-2002, 08:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
creejingledress Tiny Tot Dancer Join Date: May 2001 Location: prairie province,canada Posts: 54	:( I remember that special....and i also remembered that it was announced that they would make you a beaded outfit. So it makes them look bad that they would hold a special in honour of someones's memory and not deliver. I think its kinda strange you haven't recieved anything since one of the ladies helping in the special is a well known beadworker and another one is a well known fancydancer. But to tell you the truth I'm not surprised. Because a friend of mine did a lot of work for the "well known" fancy dancer and was not paid. Instead my friend was just told that she would get paid but had not received anything but the cold shoulder. After that I lost a lot of respect for this well known dancer. But I think it wouldn't hurt to ask. I mean they did say they would. They have to realize what was promised when they decided to hold that special.

03-16-2002, 10:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
luvstraightdancrs Senior Dancer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Southern Straight country Posts: 660	I know how it feels to get stiffed. Made a couple of dresses for a family member couple of years ago. They have dresses but I never got paid. They were having a hard time, or I'll get it to you next week:( . Have learned the hard way - now it's half up front, rest at delivery family or not. I have a hard time asking for my money and they are family. After three years I would say don't ask and cut your losses. Usually if something like this is going to be given, it's ready the day of the contest with only alterations to be made. That's what we do here and have done in the past when sponsoring a special contest. I always remember what my father in law said, "Sometimes people can't remember their words well, it's because they had no intention of fulfilling their promise. Remember what goes around comes around." Just some thoughts!!

03-16-2002, 11:18 PM	#10 (permalink)
FancyStar What Will Be Will Be Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Cherokee,NC USA Posts: 580	I don't know if this will make you feel any better or not but it sounds like alot of people remember this special and know this family up there. These people are only hurting themselves and dishonoring the memory of their loved one by not fullfilling their obligations. "The only thing longer than time is the memory of a betrayal."

03-27-2002, 04:11 PM	#11 (permalink)
Two-cents1 Junior Dancer Join Date: May 2001 Location: USA Posts: 105	I'm not surprised either, that you haven't received anything yet. I know the people involved with that special and the dancer you are talking about. I would say something to her about it, but just be ready for her behavior towards you after that.......she'll probably act funny towards you, but that shouldn't scare you off from saying something about it.......she's obligated to deliver what she said, and if she doesn't then it will come back on her in the future.....like another one said, the Creator will take care of it whether you get your outfit or not......sometimes people don't realize what hardships and bad luck they are creating for themselves when they don't follow through on their obligations.

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04-01-2002, 07:42 PM	#13 (permalink)
sunburst24 Pow Wow Visitor Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 7	I think u should definatly ask about the beaded outfit, but be polite. Also If they were promiseing an outfit and didn't go through with it, its almost like there disrespecting whoever the special was in honor of....later