traci_m

OK, I've been avoiding replying to this subject until I could think of how I wanted to say what I need to say. PWC49 described my first marriage right there. I was rasied in a religious cult, and part of the cult teaching was to be a virgin when you got married. So, first off. . .I found a guy that I was great friends with, who believed like I believed, and then what is the next logical step at that age and under that belief system? To get married or commit what they called a sin (have sex out of wed-lock).

Well, that marriage went all kinds of wrong for almost five years! We did retain our good friend status, but the chemistry and romance was never there. Anyway, I remember on my wedding night (without going into too many details) I thought "THIS IS IT? I waited all this time for THIS? And turned down all those other guys for THIS?" I was sad and mad.

So, being a parent, I have given thought as to how I will try to explain this to my children, because I don't want them to go into a marriage like I did my first time, but I don't want them to be sleeping around with everythang that comes along either. I would encourage open communication between them and their partner, because I think that is where most of the problems come. Typically, one of the people in the relationship thinks just because they sleep together, then they are "together" and some people view sex as an activity only, and love is a whole other subject. Sex and love don't have to go hand-in-hand, but it's nice when it does. ;)

And yes, someone mentioned knowing the responsibility that goes along with sexual relationships--that's important to stress as well.