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Bullcreeklady - I know what you are saying, and have experienced the "you don't look Indian" response from some people. But you shouldn't let them stop you. Keep making contact with others, talk to people at pow wows about your concerns. You will find the person or group that wants to help you. Don't give up!
Once people see that your heart is good, that you are sincere, and that you do have tribal heritage, they will help and welcome you into their circle. It just takes time, especially when you have not been raised in a Native American community.
Think of all the hurting, alienated urban Indians in our country -- sick at heart, sick in body, or sick in mind, because they don't have their tribal connection. They were never taught the right way, or their language, customs, spiritual beliefs, or anything. They only feel that they don't fit in anywhere. Many are addicted to alcohol or drugs and some get help through Indian rehab programs like Native Directions. Those are the lucky ones because they finally do find what they need to heal and be strong. They find their way on the Red Path. Many of them, in turn, reach out to help others to heal, get strong, and find the Red Path.
I see this in the work being done at 3 Rivers Indian Lodge in California. There are places like this everywhere, but you have to ask and look. There are county and state health and mental health services, which also can network you to other groups for the help you seek. There are Indian job placement agencies and cultural centers. Many colleges now even teach Native American languages. I found a wealth of information on that just doing a simple search on the internet.
Another way is to contact your local tribal council or group and tell your story to them. If you have tried before, try again and talk to someone else. Make them know you are determined to find your people and of your concerns for the younger generation. You will find the person or persons who will listen and help you.
I talk too much. I wish you well and hope you will get the help you seek soon. Aho!
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Shawl Lady
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